Putting out the good vibes

My computer just welcomed me back...

“Pick right back up where you left off!” A friendly little announcement in the bottom right hand corner of my screen.

I don’t think it really works that way. So much has happened since the last time I took a moment to sit down and write. That’s the funny thing about our lives and the adventures we lead...in the moment it’s as if nothing ever really seems to change, but when you look back on it all, everything has changed so much.

Finding the internal motivation to put thoughts on a page has really been lacking for me as of late. Even Christmas came and passed and with it, a plethora of opportunities for writing. Not one of which I took. 

January also came and went. It was a good month, but an emotionally tumultuous one for me as well. In one instance, I found myself extremely content and in the next, I was anxious about the future, afraid of another year and the multitude of unknown situations that came with it. Happy and scared, excited and intimidated. And of course, with all of these feelings came another bajilllioonnnn opportunities to sit down and write.....and again, I just couldn't get into it. 

Tonight however, I feel encouraged. I was driving home, meditating on my feelings and enjoying the warm memories I had from this past weekend and I knew it was time. Time to end my hiatus and put my feelings into words. 

So here I am...and even though I might not be able to “pick up right where I left off”, I can certainly do what I’ve always done in the past – take the random musings of my mind and make sense of them with my words. 

So although it may come across as sappy or naive…I really wanted to share what was on my mind...

.....

Taking responsibility for my thoughts and how they affect my world has been something of a struggle for me in the past. I was a habitual mind wanderer and always in the worst way - meditating on the negative and not realizing that that focus was representative in my actions. 

But over the last few years I've come to understand that being consciously responsible and aware of the energy you put out into your world is the single-most empowering thing you can do as a human.

Understanding your own personal presence and the state of your intimate thoughts can help strengthen the interactions you have not only with your surroundings, but with the people you come in contact with on a daily basis.

I suck at this so much sometimes. I react in the moment and say things laden with emotion, regardless of thought. I can be abrupt, I can even be cold. Honestly, I think it probably takes years of dedication and personal training to constantly be aware of your own thoughts and how changing the negative ones can help shape the exchanges you have with other people.

I want to be more patient, more forgiving and most importantly I want to be less fearful.

Fear is absolutely crippling. It can stop you from seizing the most beautiful day or even enjoying the most sincere moment with another person.

Tonight when I was driving home I realized that I didn't want fear to inhabit my decisions or have any OUNCE of influence over the interactions I have with others.  I don’t want the fear of the future’s unknowns, the fear of the past’s heartbreaks or the fear of a moment’s mistakes to hold me back in any capacity. 

I want to live a life of confidence and trust. And although I forget it all the time I NEED to remember that I am the commander of my destiny and in control of my own mind. 

If I want to live a life of assuredness, then I have to remind myself everyday that that's what I want and adjust my energies accordingly. It all starts inside, with me. 

Friends, move freely and walk with confidence. Life is exciting and there’s a lot of good vibes out there to take in. Don’t let a little self-doubt stop you from enjoying those things. Don't let a negative battle of the mind or a nagging voice of insecurity stop you from being the best person you can be. 

It starts inside you - in your mind and in your heart and hey, a little self love never hurt anyone. 

Feel encouraged to be brave and remember it when you find yourself ruminating on a negative thought. That thought does NOTHING for you...it only debilitates you and darkens your otherwise bright and beautiful light. 

Yeah, it might sound lame but I felt really uplifted tonight and if someone else feels uplifted after reading this then it's all good...besides, I don't want to let the fear of sounding like a sappy Care Bear stop me from sharing, right?

XO