Putting out the good vibes

My computer just welcomed me back...

“Pick right back up where you left off!” A friendly little announcement in the bottom right hand corner of my screen.

I don’t think it really works that way. So much has happened since the last time I took a moment to sit down and write. That’s the funny thing about our lives and the adventures we lead...in the moment it’s as if nothing ever really seems to change, but when you look back on it all, everything has changed so much.

Finding the internal motivation to put thoughts on a page has really been lacking for me as of late. Even Christmas came and passed and with it, a plethora of opportunities for writing. Not one of which I took. 

January also came and went. It was a good month, but an emotionally tumultuous one for me as well. In one instance, I found myself extremely content and in the next, I was anxious about the future, afraid of another year and the multitude of unknown situations that came with it. Happy and scared, excited and intimidated. And of course, with all of these feelings came another bajilllioonnnn opportunities to sit down and write.....and again, I just couldn't get into it. 

Tonight however, I feel encouraged. I was driving home, meditating on my feelings and enjoying the warm memories I had from this past weekend and I knew it was time. Time to end my hiatus and put my feelings into words. 

So here I am...and even though I might not be able to “pick up right where I left off”, I can certainly do what I’ve always done in the past – take the random musings of my mind and make sense of them with my words. 

So although it may come across as sappy or naive…I really wanted to share what was on my mind...

.....

Taking responsibility for my thoughts and how they affect my world has been something of a struggle for me in the past. I was a habitual mind wanderer and always in the worst way - meditating on the negative and not realizing that that focus was representative in my actions. 

But over the last few years I've come to understand that being consciously responsible and aware of the energy you put out into your world is the single-most empowering thing you can do as a human.

Understanding your own personal presence and the state of your intimate thoughts can help strengthen the interactions you have not only with your surroundings, but with the people you come in contact with on a daily basis.

I suck at this so much sometimes. I react in the moment and say things laden with emotion, regardless of thought. I can be abrupt, I can even be cold. Honestly, I think it probably takes years of dedication and personal training to constantly be aware of your own thoughts and how changing the negative ones can help shape the exchanges you have with other people.

I want to be more patient, more forgiving and most importantly I want to be less fearful.

Fear is absolutely crippling. It can stop you from seizing the most beautiful day or even enjoying the most sincere moment with another person.

Tonight when I was driving home I realized that I didn't want fear to inhabit my decisions or have any OUNCE of influence over the interactions I have with others.  I don’t want the fear of the future’s unknowns, the fear of the past’s heartbreaks or the fear of a moment’s mistakes to hold me back in any capacity. 

I want to live a life of confidence and trust. And although I forget it all the time I NEED to remember that I am the commander of my destiny and in control of my own mind. 

If I want to live a life of assuredness, then I have to remind myself everyday that that's what I want and adjust my energies accordingly. It all starts inside, with me. 

Friends, move freely and walk with confidence. Life is exciting and there’s a lot of good vibes out there to take in. Don’t let a little self-doubt stop you from enjoying those things. Don't let a negative battle of the mind or a nagging voice of insecurity stop you from being the best person you can be. 

It starts inside you - in your mind and in your heart and hey, a little self love never hurt anyone. 

Feel encouraged to be brave and remember it when you find yourself ruminating on a negative thought. That thought does NOTHING for you...it only debilitates you and darkens your otherwise bright and beautiful light. 

Yeah, it might sound lame but I felt really uplifted tonight and if someone else feels uplifted after reading this then it's all good...besides, I don't want to let the fear of sounding like a sappy Care Bear stop me from sharing, right?

XO

Another festival season has come and gone and what have we learned?

It’s that time of year again. 

We all feel a little less excited than we did three months ago. Some of us aren't as quick-on-the-draw as we were back in May. A few of us look a little lighter, the one-meal-a-day diet slowly starting to pay off. For others, fall brings with it a heavier look, those early morning "beers for breakfast" adding a little cozy cushion around the belly. 

Either way, whoever you are and however you look, you know the time has come to kiss this summer goodbye.

As the sun begins to set on an easier, often-times happier lifestyle, we see the ending of our beloved festival season as well. Sure, there will be shows throughout the year, but it just won’t be the same. For me, summer festivals are inherently better. I feed off the sunshine; I live for the cool breezes and the warm night skies. Being outside is better in every respect. I’d fight a million mosquitoes and suffer through that many more sunburns if it meant another night of dancing in the great outdoors.

My festival season started in June. I hit the ground running, choosing Las Vegas's EDC as my launching point (also making it my second time at that particular festival). It was a trip built by fate, luck and spontaneity, all of which helped contribute to it being my best time yet. I met a generous stranger on a Monday night at work who offered up a free VIP pass. On Tuesday, I had amazing coworkers help cover my shifts and by Wednesday I had found hotel accommodations with great new friends. By Thursday morning (with a backpack loaded with shorts, shoes and shades) I made my way to the city of sin.

You know, we spend a lot of time preparing for these things. For women especially, we work on costumes for weeks. We pour over every intricate detail, comparing ideas and designs. For us, an event like EDC can take months upon months of elaborate planning. So for me, taking off to Vegas with less than a weeks notice left me feeling hopelessly unprepared. No outfits planned, no flowers glued, no jewels sewn.

I think that’s the magic of spontaneity however – the less prepared you are the less expectations you hold. With this, comes a greater allowance for fun and adventure. I went in with no preconceived idea of what my trip would entail; I didn't plan a schedule for show times, I didn't run around trying to catch every person I thought might be important. I let myself enjoy new sounds, new performers and allowed myself to mellow in the relaxation of ‘going with the flow.’

Next on the agenda: Boonstock. Looking back at that weekend, what I think made it so great were all the beauties I got to spend it with. Every single individual brought something amazing to that party. It was a perfect blend of new friends and old, each person brimming with charisma and personality. For me, Boonstock was a reminder that it doesn't really matter where you are sometimes, its WHO you're with that makes any time worth having. 

Center of Gravity (COG) and Shambhala were the two festivals I chose to end my season with. Rainbows and butterflies aside, COG will go down as one of the most poorly organized parties I've ever attended. Line ups were long and finding direction from staff was next to impossible. The sound quality was miserable; I think at one point during Kaskade’s set I heard one of the hundreds of under-aged children roaming the grounds flush their porter potty, 30 feet away. 

They must have saved thousands of dollars on production – give me 30 bucks, some glowsticks and a cardboard box and I could probably mirror their stage in my own backyard. It’s got to be pretty difficult to mess up a festival that’s in the heart of such an incredible city like Kelowna, but somehow it was done. I will go on the record and say that in no way, shape or form do I recommend Center of Gravity to any of my friends. That being said, a time was had and once again it was because I surrounded myself with the absolute best people and was able to enjoy their company all weekend long.

I could speak on Shambhala for hours but I’ll leave it at this: there aren't a lot of places left in this world where you can live as freely as you do within the confines of that festival. Love is unreservedly exchanged, generosity (the kind without expected reimbursement) is easily given and all of that is felt within a landscape that mirrors the unquestionable beauty of our natural earth. I do believe there are cons to Shambhala (as there are with ANY festival) and I do believe that some of us have a hard time acknowledging those negatives....but I will always walk away from my time in the Fractal Forest feeling blessed to have been apart of something so great.

So, as I stop and reflect on everything I've done this summer; every light show, bass drop, fist pump and airplane glide I think to myself…..what did I learn this year? What did I take from all of this? And most importantly, what will I remember for next year?

These are just some  of the thoughts I came up with.

1. Do your research

We all watch those festival promotional videos and imagine ourselves feeling the advertised euphoria. But everyone needs to stop and take a quick second before they buy their summer tickets. Take a second and ask yourself a few questions. What is it that you hope to gain from your festival experience this season? What are your likes and dislikes? What's your comfort bubble and how far are you willing to stop outside of it?

The experience you have at a place like EDC is on the opposite end of a completely different spectrum than the experience you will have at Shambhala. Some of us aren't cut out for camping - two hour sleeps in 35 degree tents are not for the faint of heart. 

You might be the festival soldier that needs to be able to order room service after a night of dancing. You might be the girl that lost her shoes in Shambhala's Village on Wednesday night and didn't realize until Friday. What one person needs to have a good time will never be exactly the same as someone else's requirements and that's OK. Do your research, ask your friends, get online and look things up. Buying a ticket because all your friends bought their tickets doesn't ensure you a good time anywhere. 

The number one disservice you can do to yourself is to not own up to what you like, what you dislike and what you're looking to get from an experience. If you don't like camping, find a festival in a city with lots of nice hotels. If you need to shower, find a festival that makes that easy. There's more festivals than there are cities, so finding something perfectly suited for your specific needs is not difficult. You can have a spiritual experience with music anywhere; in your car during rush hour, in your tub with a loofah or in the middle of a Wendy's line up, waiting for your JBC....anyone that says otherwise is just being a snob.

And most importantly, you need to be self-reliant. We're all going to be first timers at one point or another and again, that's fine. A lot of enjoyment for a veteran raver comes from the sharing of their knowledge and advice. However, you have to be able to supply yourself with the essentials; a good head space, a willingness for new experiences and the capability to have your own back out there. 

There are mentors but there are NO babysitters.

2. There’s still real life after the weekend ends.

When you walk into a festival it’s kind of like you get to play pretend for a few days. I've been saying this since my first Shambhala and its truer now than ever before. One of the most compelling and wonderful elements of festival life is one’s ability to be their weirdest self in a make-believe, fantasy world.

When we slide our costumes on - be it the animal ears or fuzzy boots, the plastic kandi’s and the flashing masks - we enter a world that’s make believe. But as fun as that is, there’s something we can’t forget. There is a world outside of those festival grounds, one of which we are all apart of. The actions we take within those gates will have real consequences outside of them.  

We all have to go back to work on Monday, we all have families who love us and friends who care about us. We’re all good at something and we ALL have dreams for a future. All of these facts don’t just disappear when we step into a massive. Every action has a reaction, regardless of where you are.  Keep that in mind and party responsibly. People care about you and its selfish and reckless to act otherwise. 

3. Nobody's perfect. 

After Electric Zoo a few weekends back, everybody's got something to say. DJ's are shocked and appalled people are getting high at their shows. Everyone's preaching about the music being enough and the atrocities of drug and alcohol abuse. The hypocrisy runs rampant. 

Let me just say this: not one of us is perfect. 99% of us at one point in our lives have been curious about drugs and the powerful effect they can have when paired with music. In the end, it doesn't matter if its a 15-year veteran raver or a 17-year-old, impressionable young girl whose friends all just dropped and now its her turn - it someone sells you rat poison masquerading it as Molly, you're going to die. Playing the blame game doesn't get us anywhere. Nobodies without mistakes (myself included) and people need to stop acting like they are.

Be smart. Most shady drug dealers trying to pass their garbage off on you don't give two shits about what happens after they walk away.  Don't let drugs become a vice and never let listening to music sober become an uncomfortable, foreign feeling. That's when somethings wrong. 

4. Have someone’s back out there

When you step into a festival, show, concert or even just another Boodang massive, you are not only responsible for yourself but for everyone that’s dancing beside you. Too many times now I've seen someone go down beside me and the party just rages on.

People dance over collapsed bodies, friends move their shuffle circles to the side and some even turn their back as to not ruin the sweet vibe they've got going on. We’re all in this together and the time for staring blankly at a fallen comrade is over. 

I appreciate the fact that seeing someone collapse, for whatever reason, is overwhelming. Especially when it’s someone you know. I appreciate that for most of us, it’s frustrating seeing someone not know or understand their limits and take it too far. No one wants their evening ruined or their night ended early by some stranger who acted irresponsibly and put their life on the line for a “good time.” But in the end, we’re all in this together. If we don't have one another's backs out there, who will?

5. Water should be the most important and valued part of your festival gear. 

Water should be free. Plain and simple. The reality of our current environment however dictates that this will never be. In fact, I foresee a day where 10, 12, even 15 dollar water bottles will be the norm for any given music festival. So instead, we as attendee's need to make sure a budget for water is a priority. If you have X amount of funds for your ticket, flight, accommodations  party supplies, costumes, food, taxis and the like, then you had better make sure have cash for water. 

H20 is your lifeline. It's what keeps you going after three straight, 16-hour days of dancing. Water keeps your muscles moving, your brain thinking and your heart pumping. It keeps you sane in crowds of thousands on 30 degree days. It helps calm your nerves when you've lost your dance family and suddenly find yourself cruising around alone. 

Water keeps you alive, it keeps you well and it keeps you happy. If you have enough money for every other item you consider a key ingredient in your festival weekend, then you have enough money for water. Make sure you, your friends and the sweaty guy in front of you are all staying hydrated. 

I know we've all had googly-eyed, half staggering rave monsters walk up to us in the crowd, hands outstretched, asking for "just a sip" from our personal water bottle. Some of us have even been those zombies. You don't have to share your hydration with every random stranger that comes stumbling your way, but you can definitely point out the nearest watering hole. And if someone beside you looks like they may not make the journey, make it for them. 

6. Be the person who thinks about tomorrow's smile rather than today's laugh. 

A quote from an article Wade Davis just wrote, following those two deaths at Electric Zoo. A quote I appreciated a lot after reading it. He's making reference to two events that, after being snapped by cell phones, immediately went viral: the girl who blindly humped that poor, unsuspecting tree two Ultra's ago and the two pre-teens caught pelvic thrusting one another on Ultra's final night this past March. 

What Davis so aptly put is that that girl humping the tree eventually needs to find a job one day. That little girl who let her prepubescent boyfriend take her pants off in the middle of the festival grounds, with hundreds upon thousands of people scattered around will eventually grow up and start a family. And although we've all heard the stories - the ones where someone's past transgressions come back to haunt them online - no one really things that that person will be them. But the reality is it can and will be. 

This summer I saw pictures on my Facebook of kids face down in  sand piles, garbage hills and lawn chairs. I saw videos of jaw-clenched, pupil-less maniacs cruising the grounds of festivals all over the world. It's gross, its not funny and its potentially detrimental to these people's futures. 

Not only should these individuals figure it out, the dickheads snapping videos need to as well. Stuff like this not only threatens someone's future but it threatens their emotional and mental stability in the present. Your laugh today may irrevocably ruin the smile of that person tomorrow, and that in my opinion is fucked up.

7. Let the haters hate while you go out there and have a good time

A bunch of people say it's cool to 'Get Weird,' so everyone does, but the moment someone gets a little too weird, no one's got their back.  

A bunch of people like to run that trap, so a hundred other people decided their going to like it too. Apparently it's not cool to listen to trance anymore, or so I've been told. So I've been faced with the choice of either hiding my love for 140 BPM or opening myself to public shaming from my peers. 

There's a shit pile of hypocrisy in our scene and we're all guilty of perpetuating the bullshit. This is what I think: 

- Love what you love. If you love brapping imaginary guns and kickstepping to heavy bass than love that. If you love putting your heart-hands in the air to slow, progressive melodies than by all means, love that. Recognize your likes and dislikes and once you do, treat others choices with taste and RESPECT. Music is power, regardless of genre. 

- Understand that a good time can be had almost anywhere with the right attitude and right friends. I might not enjoy trap music, but some of the best times I had this summer were with good friends, circle-shuffling to DJ's like Excision and Datsik. 

- Treat others how you'd like to be treated. We all know what it's like to be dying of thirst, separated from our friends or feeling a little too weird at the wrong time. I'm pretty sure most of us watched the video of that girl humping the tree at Ultra and thought "thank GOD that wasn't me." And if its the one time you make a bad choice and end up hitting the ground, there isn't a doubt in my mind that you wouldn't want someone to come to your rescue. Prohibition doesn't solve anything and pretending drug use doesn't exist doesn't work either. If we don't start being honest, people will keep buying into the bullshit and more people will keep dying at the festivals we love. 

Anyways, these are just my opinions. I really love to party and I really love to travel. And above everything else I really love music. It makes me who I am. Festivals have been a way for me to combine all of these things into one and in doing so I've met some of the greatest people in the world. 

I'm starting to get a little older and the priorities I hold for the money I make are slowly changing. But know this - I'll never stop listening to live music and I'll never stop seeing the world in order to do so. So regardless of how old I get, how much the scene changes and who changes with it, I'm going to keep doing what I love the most, and that my friends, is dancing.

But I wore my best kandi...

We humans are contradictory messes sometimes. For instance, I've felt like a grocery store saint lately with all my grain fed egg purchases and organic banana buys. I've been spreading the message of healthy eating by sharing my new hand-crafted kale chips and refusing to buy that piece of salmon in the grocery store that’s “from the farm.” But I’m the first person on a Friday night that will go in on a plate of nachos and you had better believe all my drinks are doubled up with the poisonous venom that is alcohol. It’s appears I’m always willing to toss away any semblance of a healthy value I might hold in the face of a double caeser and a late-night patio snack.

And we do these kinds of things all the time. After I crawled into my house, emotionally, physically and mentally exhausted from the four intensive days we just called Boonstock, I swore not only to myself, but to my friends and mother that I was to live a life underground for the next few weeks, all in the hopes of recovering my voice, health and mental stability. But here I find myself just a week after said event, planning for my weekend road trip to Calgary, which will follow my Friday night dance-a-thon.  All talk, all the time.

Where I find the contradiction so blatant, the disparity between our actions and words so great, is at our beloved music festivals. Amongst the beautiful night skies, the riverside beaches and perfectly constructed stages. Under the powerful flashes of light and color we see during performance-ending fireworks, you will find us… lazy “wanna-be” hippies, tossing our water bottles and sandwich wrappers to the ground like ill-mannered children. 

You see, festival season in theory is amazing. Beautifully planned events, all over the world, where fellow music lovers can come together to soak up the sunshine and sound. It’s understood that everyone you meet is potentially a new life-long friend. The instant connection you can feel with another person, in a certain moment during a certain set is actually astonishing. The shared love of music brings people together and when we've all bested our own set of circumstances to arrive in that special place, the feeling of instant gratification is often indescribable.

Girls wear their intricately designed headbands, custom made with flowers and gems. The 13 trips that were made to Michaels Craft Store now all seem worth it, as they pose for the hundreds of pictures being snapped throughout the weekend. We feel free and beautiful, uninhibited and happy.  Together we preach values of friendship and love, peace and respect. We've all come together to enjoy this moment as friends.

But the contradiction is glaring. I first noticed it in a picture my friend took at EDC Las Vegas a few weekends ago. It was of a friend and I as the sun came up, early that Sunday morning. There, directly in the center of the shot, were two beautiful souls enjoying an embrace, soaking up that special moment in time. If you look at our faces, our smiles are so heartfelt and so genuine it’s almost impossible not to smile too, just by looking at them. But unfortunately, it wasn't our smiles you were left to look at. It was the mounds of litter and the graveyard of plastic water bottles that caught the eye. 

How funny it must be to those of an earlier generation (those who began the tradition of musical festivals that we now enjoy) to see such a blatant disregard for the earth. You see, those before our time still met under the same sky, dressed in their flowers and their beads, all in the same hopes; to enjoy a moment of music together. But their actions headed the advice of their words and their values were not just seen, but felt. You see, it takes more than a flower headband and your best kandi to be a hippie. Your fuzzy boots and t-shirt monogrammed with the words ‘peace’ and ‘love’ don’t make you an old, earth loving soul. We so often look the part, and yet act so much different.   

There’s already a lot of garbage surrounding the events we’re attending this summer: the 1000 Dasani water bottles you’ll probably have bought by the time September rolls around, the $15 taco you had to buy at Shambhala (because all the ice melted in your cooler and now your salad is swimming in a pool of dirty water) and all the shuttle passes, cab fares and bus tickets you’ll eventually end up purchasing just to get you to that $300-a-ticket dance floor. 

Times have changed. There was a time where music festivals were once Woodstock’s; events that preached messages of anti-violence and peace. Where events didn't cost you your entire winters savings and where outfits didn't take three months to prepare. Festivals that didn't charge you $10 for a sandwich and allowed for areas to dance where YOLO-swag wearing bro’s weren't fist pumping around your head. There’s already enough change and enough garbage surrounding the festivals of our day. Why then, are we all contributing to it?

I’m assuming all of us want to make an impact on the world, in some way or another. Let us then make a large impact in the lives of the people we find around us, not on the earth we’re using as our festival grounds. Let the impact we leave be felt in the hearts of our families, friends, and the new people we meet this summer. And let the impact we leave at the Salmo River Ranch or the Las Vegas Speedway be minuscule, at best. It’s sad that a picture with my beautiful friend does not illustrate the love felt in that moment, but instead a disgusting street of littered water bottles and thrown away trash.

I’ll be the first one to admit that when I’m having a musical moment and in desperate need of both my arms to flail, I’ll toss away my empty glass, forgetting about it the second it leaves my hands. But I no longer want to be that “wanna-be” hippie, my mouth full of preachy values while my hands clearly disregard my surroundings. It’s something I never really thought about before and even as I shuffled through the garbage left ridden across the raceways at EDC, it never occurred to me that my four personal water bottles helped contribute to that mess.

We can all dress like dirty, homeless hobos at Shambhala and most of us did dress like flower-loving, peace-preaching hippies at EDC, but really in the end, that’s just a costume. The real hippies will find a garbage can. The real lovers will walk the ten feet to throw away their trash in a bin, not on the floor. 

C'mon people, we're better than this.

I went to 186 festivals this summer and all I acquired was major debt and this sun burn...

If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say 99.9% of the stuff I’m throwing up online is positive. This post however will be the caveat to that calculation and probably one of the only times I’ll allow myself to rant on the internet. 

That being said, is it just me or has life as we know it turned into one giant popularity contest with the amount of shows, festivals and concerts attended being the direct indicator of how “cool” you are. 

It’s a god damn popularity contest out there for bragging rights and Facebook likes and frankly, it’s fucking lame. There’s a new festival every other weekend, each one trying to outdo the next with its own version of a “stacked line-up.” And as much as this has become almost impossible to keep up with, I don’t even think that’s the major problem … I've always been the biggest supporter of shows and have felt very blessed to live in a city that provides me with the opportunity to see some of my favorite talents, night after night.

If promoters want to keep announcing shows, festivals and played-out production events than all the power to them. The problem, in my opinion, is US the fans. 

It’s the endless countdowns on Facebook, reminding your friends, families and devout followers that yes, you are going to Ultra, Coachella, Shambhala and the like. Let’s be honest here, we’ve all heard of day timers and calendars and we all know the reason why you've thrown up 25 “countdown” status’s reminding us of how awesome your summer is going to be. Your ego boost online has NOT gone unnoticed.

Or what about the people that have chosen their three festivals for the summer and then spend the rest of their time degrading and calling down the other shows that didn't make the cut. Nothing pisses me off more than people blowing up my online universe hating on other peoples events. Hey you know what, you chose EDC and I chose Shambhala? Big fucking deal. You enjoy your event and I'll enjoy mine and the only reason I can think of why someone would want to knock a festival they decided against is insecurity in their own decisions.

And for anyone that would address this by saying that I’m just jealous of their festival punch card…well that’s just laughable. I've done Coachella, I did EDC before most of my friends even knew what the hell it was and I've been to Ibiza, the island where dance music finds its home. I’ll probably head to COG this summer, maybe Badlands and you better believe I’ll be at Shambhala. I’m not jealous. I just think at some point, someone needs to address the fact that festival prices continue to sky rocket as the masses keep dishing out the cash and I’m starting to think it’s not about the music (because even the good stuff its getting scarcer) and it’s not about the intimate experience you have with the culture, it’s about throwing a few pics on Facebook and letting the world know how cool your life is. 

I think its important you remember a few things before this season unfolds, things I've had to remind myself of as well. 

Firstly, just enjoy your summer; enjoy the beautiful music, the sunshine, the camaraderie with friends and have yourself an experience you won't ever forget. Just remember to allow everyone the right to enjoy their summer the way they want too. Comparing festivals and judging levels of “good times” is counteractive and ultimately futile.

Second and MOST IMPORTANTLY, remember that all the money you’re spending on these experiences is going to a very select and greedy few. Its become impossible to keep up with each new "festival" that has emerged (and I use the term loosely because three headliners over two evenings with a hot dog tent and a wristband now seems to constitute a festival). Even as I write this, presale tickets for Chasing Summer, a festival I didn't even know existed, just came and went and as per usual, prices to attend have raised since this morning. Just know that if you miss this one, it'll be there next year, even bigger and even more expensive than before and with so many producers, DJ's and promoters competing for you, the fans top dollars, you'll have another chance to see the same artists within the month.

In the end, its just a competition for your money and they know you'll spend your entire summer racing around trying to hit every last festival because…. well, “everyone’s going” and that little attending check mark just looks so damn good on your Facebook wall. 

Lastly, I think before any of us buy any more event tickets we should stop and remember what the measures are that we use to evaluate a good time. Is it hearing Clarity from the parking lot, because you've been standing in a line-up for three hours, still just waiting to get in the gates? Is it 16$ water bottles and 250 dollar-a-night hotel room stays? Or is it a moment of music with good friends and a positive atmosphere? We ALL need to take a time out and establish where our priorities lie before racing online to buy that next ticket.

The amount of events out there to choose from will only continue to grow. We as fans need to stop and reevaluate. 

giving thanks

Today I decided to sit down and take a moment to remember some of things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my friend Lauren Gagatek. When I moved to Kamloops, I left my Edmonton music family behind. We are so blessed in Edmonton to have talent come through our city as regularly as it does and it pains me that so many of us take it for granted. When I see people complaining about there being an “over abundance” of shows to attend I shake my head in disbelief. I would rather have the option of a thousand different events at a thousand different venues than have no options at all. When I left Edmonton behind, I left that blessing behind as well.

Discovering that a classmate shared the same love for trance music that I did will go down as one of my favorite moments in the loops. Meeting Lauren and forming what I hope to be a life-long friendship stands distinctly in my heart as one of the first times I felt at home and happy in Kamloops.   

Whether it was sharing music in class or just talking about trance, she has made my heart smile on a regular basis. She has a beautiful ear for beautiful music and it all matches her beautiful heart. I couldn’t believe Lauren had never been to a rave before and was astounded that such a committed fan had never had the opportunity to dance to the music that she so passionately loved. When I heard Above & Beyond were playing in Vancouver, I knew she had to go and I had to go with her.

That night was one of the best nights of my year and to be able to share Lauren’s first group therapy experience was a moment I can’t even begin to describe with words.

I just needed her to know how thankful I am for her friendship and I hope for the rest of my days I never stop sharing music with her. She IS my trance family here in the ‘loops.

I am thankful for my new work shoes. Yes, you heard me right. I’ve been living a life of simple pleasures over the last nine months. I haven’t been able to spend a lot of money on myself and at times that has left me feeling deflated. It’s hard to work so hard and so often and not be able to spend the fruits of that labor on yourself directly. As that stands, I found it rather ironic that for awhile I couldn’t even afford to buy myself new shoes to wear to my job.

The soles were completely devastated and the insides felt like sandpaper on my feet. At the end of their sad and weathered existence, my shoes were nothing left but tattered pieces of suede and cardboard. At one point, my toe was even seen peeking out the front.

Having new shoes to wear to work has made my life just that much better. My feet are happier, making me happier and this ultimately makes those around me happier too. We can be grateful for all the big things in our lives, but it’s important to remember the small things as well, like your shoes.

I’m thankful for my friend Megan because in 5 days she’s getting in her car and driving ten hours to come pick me up and bring me home. To have a friend that selfless is beyond a blessing.

I am thankful for the girl that’s been sharing my morning commute with me for the last 9 months. Every day she gets on the bus and every day she makes me smile. She is the culmination of a thousand different, yet equally awesome elements. Her tie die t-shirt and lime green back pack are great. Her “I Love Reptiles” button and frog patch on her jacket are great too. But the best part about her is that every day when she gets on my bus she is grinning from ear to ear.  Although she might never know it, she has made my mornings brighter by simply smiling.

I’m thankful for music because every day with melody is a day worth living.

I am thankful for my friends and my family. I have the best people in my life and they should know it.

I am thankful for the mountains. Although sometimes they look like oversized hills here in Kamloops, I am going to sincerely miss the beautiful landscape that lies just outside my bedroom window. They are big, they are bad and they are beautiful.

There were days that, as I made my way to class, the sun teasingly peaked out behind those glorious rocks and I was left feeling instant contentment. I was blessed to live amongst such majestic creations and experience the daily reminder of how beautiful our planet is.

I am thankful, gracious and blessed. Whether it’s my new work kicks, beautiful tunes inside my ears, the stranger on the bus whose smile illuminates my mornings or the scenery that makes up my day-to-day, I am 100% thankful for it all.

Life’s short. We can spend most of it wishing we had a better phone, a sweeter car, a nicer house and better friends. Or we can take a second and be grateful for the big and small things in our lives that we already have. There is something to be said for meditating on the positive in your universe.

Thank you to all the people in my universe that make life good. You’re all a bunch of beauties. 

the radio ruins everything and UMF is just another circus

About 6 months ago I discovered a track that, after just a few seconds of listening, I believed to be pure gold. And as it usually goes when you find something new that you’re totally into, you overdo it. This tune was the first thing I was listening to on my morning commute. I’d make sure I got in at least a few listens during the course of my day and you better believe that before I capped off my night I was getting a final play in, just for good measure. This track was something else - bangin’, beginning to end.

I’m not ashamed to admit that occasionally, when I’m groovin’ in class or cruising the bus to school, I like to close my eyes and imagine myself as the DJ. There I am, dropping massive track after massive track, all to crowds of adoring fans. The place always goes fucking nuts when I’m the DJ…pardon my language. So, fittingly, I dropped this track in dozens of mental sets, inciting mass pandemonium in all my imaginary audiences.

It was everything you want in a song; it had that big room sound, that sick first drop that makes your jaw hit the floor and the energy to keep you dancing over and over and over again. It was my tune of the week, every week, for months.

I’m an instant gratification kind of lady and as such, I tend to ruin a lot of great things really fast, simply because I've got to have it all the time. My biggest weakness is of course music, and after I find a hidden treasure that makes me instantaneously obsess, it’s almost guaranteed I’ll have played it out by the end of next week. I just can’t help myself sometimes. At the gym, in the shower or on the road I can guarantee you this choon was rocking my world on the daily.

All good things come to an end though, and after a few weeks of incessantly rattling my brains with my new favorite track, its grandeur eventually wore off. I shuffled it into the far reaches of my musical library, a place where all my instant favorites eventually get put to rest after a time in the spotlight. I didn't hear that catchy melody for months.

And then something terrible happened. This tune, this sacred little gem of mine that made me electric slide across the kitchen floor and fist pump mid-suds in the shower was now no longer mine alone. This beautiful little nugget of bass, with its delicious melody and catchy progression had found its way into the mainstream. There it was, for everyone to hear, for everyone to judge. It was playing on the radio.

I’m not going to lie, it took me a moment to figure it out. Get in the car, buckle up, flip the volume up, groove away. I’m thinking to myself “wow Kamloops, good pick, I can get behind this song.” And then mid shoulder-swagger I realize it’s my long lost love - the beauty I’d been jamming to just months before.

How could it be that the number 1 tune on Kassie’s dance charts was now a feature on the radio? The star of my solo rave parties and the biggest track in my imaginary DJ sets was now just a simple, 4 minute sound clip on your local radio station?

I was really disturbed that something I thought was so good, so creative in sound and magnificently -- in my opinion – produced could be casually thrown on the radio, just like that, for every Joe blow and their dog to hear. My reaction surprised me a lot actually and it got me thinking about music in terms of ownership. How we feel about music as it relates to possession. More specifically, how we feel about our music in the ears of others.

You see, just as I’m the kind of listener that has to instantaneously gratify after hearing something  I love, I’m also the kind of listener that has to share when I hear something good too. I’ll be playing something new on my iPod mid run at the gym, only to hear something so absolutely remarkable that there is no other option but to stop and immediately tell someone about it. It doesn't matter: I could be 5 kilometers deep, mid stride with sweat beading down my face and I have to text someone and tell them what I just heard.

I’m the person blowing up your timeline and posting on your walls all the sounds that get me going on the daily. It’s like I've got musical turrets or something; must, share, new, song, with, friends. And just as a track can get my heart racing and blood rushing, sharing that track and seeing it move someone else can have an almost identical effect. When I post a song and someone who I never thought would ever press play messages me and says “woh this song is good” – there’s no better feeling. For me, it mirrors how I feel when I’m spinning my imaginary sets for the masses; complete euphoria.

So then why is it when I hear a song that I loved for weeks play on the radio, I cringe? Is it because the radio sucks? It is because just before my little treasure was played, some half-assed top 40 song (which now is just really, really bad “EDM”) was premiered, subsequently followed by Taylor Swift’s latest relationship woes in the form of a single? Do I cringe because it’s now been put in the same category as Nicky Minaj and One Direction?

The same feeling I got hearing my golden song on the radio is the same feeling I got all weekend watching the crowd at Ultra, via the live feed on YouTube. 18, 19 and 20-somethings in their flashy neon t-shirts reminding everyone that You Only Live Once. Pre-teens all-but exposed in their furry boots and Deadmau5 ears and GTL’ing Jersey Boys waiting for a cake slap from the number one clown himself, Steve Aoki. It was sad, really. Lil’ Jon’s yelling “we want pussy”, Chuckie’s telling everyone to put their fucking hands up at least a dozen times and this saturated crowd of band-wagoners is loving every second of it. Is this what dance music has become?

I love this music, I love this culture and I love what at its very core, it represents. And I can get past all the “bros” and meatballs that show up at Ultra and act like idiots because I know for every 5 of them, there’s 1 beautiful soul whose entire life breathes dance music. What I suppose I have a harder time getting past is the music I love falling on the non-appreciative ears of some of these clowns and them not knowing the better.

Watching Armin’s set last night and hearing ‘Airport Shivers’ sent me on an emotional journey. I lost my breath, I had chills – I waited that whole set for that specific mash up and when it finally came, the feeling was unmatched. I then thought to myself, how many in that crowd recognized what just happened? How many people felt what I just felt? And how many in that crowd were recharging their glow sticks, waiting for the next "banger" to drop? What bothers me in the end, and it’s the same thing that bothers me about my favorite dance songs seeing radio play is that the majority of those hearing these songs don’t full appreciate their true power. So much awesome being lost on so many ignorant ears.

Maybe I’m being a music snob. Maybe I’m just jealous I’m not at Ultra doing my own personal version of the fist pump. But I really don’t think that’s it, because I’m all about sharing. I love spreading the love. I get giddy when I convert someone to trance. But there’s something that really bothers me about this saturation of the radio with dance music. Most of its garbage, but occasionally one of my picks will hit the air and I’m afraid that those who are listening wont be able to pick it out from the rest.

There’s a much larger issue at work here. One day, most likely in the near future, dance music as a global phenomenon will meet its eventual demise. It will be relegated back to the underground and maybe that’s for the best, I don’t know. I’m all about sharing, and the more people that love the music I love, the better. But I just don’t know if I want the person that’s raving beside me and loving my jams to be blowing on a whistle and working on his tan…you know what I’m saying?

SO, MUCH, MUSIC

So much music, so little time. This is a taste of what I've been listening to all week